Monday, 8 June 2009
It was horrific.
I'd already explained to the class how there are many different versions of the same story, and how authors such as the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson weren't afraid to write about unpleasant events and people. (As an example, we compared two different versions of Little Red Riding Hood- one where the wolf swallows Grandma whole but then gets sliced open by the woodcutter, and another where a book falls off a shelf onto his head, giving him a headache so he forgets about eating Grandma in the first place and becomes a much nicer person.)
But it was only when reading Hansel and Gretel that I realised how scary some of the stories really are. Not only do the poor children have abandonment issues after being left in a forest by their wicked stepmother (on three separate occasions), they then get tempted by a seemingly lovely lady who has lots of sweets and goodies, and promises to take care of them. Only it turns out that she's actually a cannibal who loves eating children, and one of them gets locked in a cage and is force fed until he gets fat enough for a juicy meal. While this is going on, poor Gretel is made a slave and has to work all night and day, terrified of the wicked child-eating lady. (I have never seen my class so gripped by a plotline...) It all turned out alright in the end though, as Gretel eventually pushes the woman into her own oven and cooks her alive. And they lived happily ever after.
The best part of the lesson was when I asked "So, what do you think the moral of this story is?" to be greeted with the reply, "If you see a gingerbread house, don't go inside it".
I thought that Hansel and Gretel would make a rather good horror movie. But when I browsed YouTube for a cartoon version to show the class, I discovered that some bright sparks in South Korea had already jumped on that bandwagon. You've got to admit, the music is a little creepy.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Finally, Ben and Glyn partnered up for a classic Barry White number:
Diversity, eat your heart out.
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Here is a photo from my Bank Holiday weekend. Suz, Mike and I went on a little picnic to Danbury Lakes, only to discover it was pouring with rain when we got there. Not to be put off, we sat in the car and ate our sandwiches whilst admiring a family determined to share their lunch on the grass under a huge umbrella. So very British.
Here is a lovely photo of Heather and I playing with Ben's Warhammer figures (or is it figurines?) We tried to make their arms move, but I don't think they were supposed to. When Ben came into the room and saw what we were doing, I actually thought for a moment that he was going to kill us.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
"I promise my lips will be as closed as a mouse."
"Mrs. Smith hurt me."
"Don't be silly. How?"
"By telling me off. She hurt my life."
"My mum is gonna name my baby brother Toby."
"Really?! My invisible friend is called Toby. He's a donkey."
"Why do they call the small chocolate bars 'fun size'? I think it would be more fun to eat a big one."
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Rafting. This was very hard work. And we couldn't work out how to turn the raft around, so in the end we just stood up and turned ourselves around to face the other way. Much easier.
My cousin Mikee and I at Camayan Beach Resort, in Subic Bay. Another stunning beach.
There's so much more I could write about, but I feel this is a long enough blog post. Here is a photo of the whole family- these are my first cousins, aunties and uncles on my mum's side of the family. It was fantastic seeing my Auntie Linda again and her daughter Trisha, who I'd never met before as my auntie moved to Canada years ago. I was also reunited with two of my uncles, who hadn't seen me since I was 14 (they're usually abroad as they're both ship captains).
They're not a bad bunch, really.
Sunday, 29 March 2009
1 The number of times I filled up my car with petrol before realising I had left my purse at home. My dad had to come to the rescue, as usual.
100 The amount of pounds I would have won at the casino (at our staff do last week) if I had been gambling with actual money instead of play chips. They had special 'training' tables just for us- I am now an expert at Blackjack. Although I spend most of the evening pretending I was in a James Bond film...
10 The average number of times I check facebook in a single day. Something has got to be done about this.
6 The number of musicals I have seen so far this year. Joseph, Hairspray, Beyond the Barricade, Chicago, Wicked and Flashdance... All of which were fantastic!
3 The number of times I have tried to eat at a Nando's restaurant this week, and failed to secure a table. That's three whole days of daydreaming about a lemon and herb chicken pitta with extra cheese, wasted.
19 The number of hours I have to spend on a plane by myself tomorrow- I'm off to the Philippines again to visit my relatives. I'm very excited!
30 The number of panic filled minutes I have just spent looking for my passport in preparation for said holiday. Argh. (I did find it...)
Monday, 9 February 2009
Teacher: It's an insect that looks just like a stick. And, (realising this description isn't helping), it has antennae sticking out of its head.
Teacher: A stick insect uses them to feel and explore the world around it.
Child: Really? I bet it can see really far away too. I wish I had ten eyes sticking out of MY head.